Theist misconceptions

Atheists have to moral compass:
. My moral compass is based on Secular Humanism.
. I don't need supernatural threats to be nice to people.
. Reciprocity is a human trait co-opted by religion.

Atheists are more prone to criminality:
. Prison populations show higher religosity than society overall.
. Atheists don't have a supernatural forgiver of sins. We have to forgive ourselves.
. Atheists don't have a devil to blame. We have to take reponsibility for our actions.
. Atheists only get one life and don't want to waste it in gaol.

Atheists worship self:
. I don't even know what that means. It sounds like religious mumbo jumbo so it just gets ignored.
. I don't worship anything. Worshipping is for theists.

Atheists are too few to effect real change in the world:
. Keep telling yourself that if it gives you comfort.

Atheists fear death because they have no heaven to go to:
. Theists have constructed an imaginary world to avoid having to face their own deaths. This is a product of fear.

Atheists are selfish:
. Freecycle's Atheist, Agnostic and Freethinkers group has lent the most money of all the groups including the Christians.
. Again, this is religion co-opting positive human actions and attributing them to their own faiths.
. Their motivation for altruism is to curry favour with their god. I don't have a heaven that will repay me for good deeds so my altruistic actions are much more generous because I don't expect repayment.

Atheists are stupid. They just cannot see the real world.
. We think the same thing. We say: "They beleive what...?"
. Religion is all black and white. So theists can answer questions in ridgid, dogmatic ways but they rarely give much thought to topics.
. They are asleep.
. Freethinkers - they just sound smart.
. Theists are just so closed minded. How can you learn with a closed mind.

There are no atheists in foxholes:
. at first I took this as a compliment. Atheists are rarely sucked into religious wars.
. after a while I was led to understand that this was an accusation of cowardous.
. the Military Acsociation of Atheists and Freethinkers will have an issue with this.

Atheists are imaginary. God doesn't believe in Atheists, so they don't exist.
. Prove it.

Atheists are just lazy, they just want to stay in bed on Sundays:
. Theists are lazy, they just don't want to think.
. I don't really sleep any later on Sundays.

Evolution/Science is a religion:
. I just don't get this.
. You're not allowed to just make up new definitions of words.
. Science makes astoundingly accurate predictions. Religions don't even try to make predictions they just retrospectively justify dusty old books and power structures.

Atheists hate God and we're just being rebellious by denying His existence...
. He doesn't exist so how can I hate him?